People-pleasing is a behavior many of us fall into, often without even realizing it. While it can stem from a genuine desire to be helpful and liked, it carries hidden costs, particularly when it comes to our financial health. This is especially true for women, who are often socialized to prioritize others' needs over their own. I’d like to take a minute and think through how people-pleasing can undermine your financial goals and why setting boundaries is crucial.

 

Financial boundaries are essential to maintaining control over your money and helping to ensure your financial goals are met. These boundaries help you manage your resources wisely and protect you from financial stress. Without clear boundaries, you may find yourself overspending, lending beyond your means, or not saving enough, all of which can jeopardize your financial stability.

 

Boundaries help you stay focused on your financial goals, such as saving for retirement, buying a home, or building an emergency fund. They also reduce the financial stress that can impact your overall well-being. By setting and adhering to boundaries, you can reduce anxiety and gain peace of mind. Clear financial boundaries can prevent misunderstandings and resentment in relationships, ensuring that both parties know what's expected and can plan accordingly.

 

Setting financial boundaries involves a series of thoughtful steps:

• Assess Your Financial Situation: Understand your income, expenses, debts, and savings to get a clear picture of where you stand.
• Define Your Priorities: Identify your short-term and long-term financial goals, such as paying off debt, saving for a vacation, or investing for retirement.
• Create a Budget: Develop a budget that aligns with your financial goals and boundaries. Allocate funds for essential expenses, savings, and discretionary spending, and stick to this budget to avoid overspending.
• Communicate Clearly: Be open with friends and family about your financial boundaries. Let them know what you can and cannot afford.
• Learn to Say No: Be comfortable with saying "no" when necessary to protect your financial health.

 

As per People-Pleasing article on Psychology Today, women are often more prone to people-pleasing behaviors, which can extend to their financial decisions. Societal norms and expectations can make it challenging for women to assert their financial boundaries. Not to mention cultural expectations which often dictate that women should be nurturing and accommodating. Taken together these expectations can translate into financial decisions that prioritize others over themselves. Women may also fear being judged as selfish or unkind if they prioritize their own financial needs. Historically, women have had less access to financial education, making it harder to confidently manage their finances and set boundaries.

 

But it's essential to recognize that being a people-pleaser doesn't have to define your financial life. Educate yourself about personal finance. Understanding your money can give you the confidence to set and enforce boundaries. Consider working with a financial advisor who can help you create a plan that aligns with your goals and values.

 

What I find helps is remembering that taking care of your financial health is a form of self-care. By prioritizing your needs, you're in a better position to help others in a sustainable way.