In many cultures money, health, and care are things that we simply don't talk enough about - especially looking into the future. Parents occasionally talk with children about the amount of wealth they may inherit. Very few people talk about their health issues or goals. And it is extremely rare to have discussions about the level of care you hope for as you age. These are all "hard conversations" because they involve acknowledging our own mortality, frailty, or dependence on others, but these "hard conversations" are also the ones that can build stronger relationships and demonstrate how much we do care for the people in our lives. Expressing your wishes can be extremely comforting when financial or health care challenges arise. The point of this series is to provide a framework for these discussions so that you can start having them.

 

What is a Power of Attorney? It is a legal document that gives someone the right to take action on your behalf; it gives them the power to act as your attorney. As the Ontario government notes, this is often divided into a Power of Attorney for Personal Care, and a Power of Attorney for Property. A Power of Attorney for Personal Care can make major decisions about housing, the level of care you receive, and the amount of life saving intervention you receive, all the way down to smaller decisions like meals, clothing, and even hair care. A Power of Attorney for Property covers financial actions such as: paying bills; collecting debts; maintaining, buying, or selling real estate; and, managing your investments. Both roles are extremely important and you should take as much care selecting them as you would a Guardian for your children, or the Executor for your will. They should be capable (able to make complex decisions), have capacity (time in their lives), and live close to you (they may need to sign agreements in person).

 

Once you've selected your Power of Attorney for Propert and for Personal Care it is important that you actually share your wishes and intentions with them. Ultimately they are supposed to act in your best interest so it is critically important that they understand both your general wishes (ie your overarching beliefs) as well as your specific goals (ie things you specifically want, or specifically want to avoid). Just like with our previous conversations with your executors and your heirs, I suggest setting up a meeting in person if possible to have a discussion and go over the documents together. Make sure they understand that you are not asking anything of them yet, but that the meeting is important.

 

Once you're in a room (or video call) together:

1) explain that you have drafted your Power of Attorney document and you hope that they will be able to act in that capacity for you

2) make sure they understand that if they don't think they can do it, now is the best time to speak up

3) Go over your general wishes using sentences like: "I want to receive the highest level of care possible even if it reduces my estate"; "I only want a reasonable level of care, and to focus on minimizing pain", "I do not want any life saving interventions whatsoever"; or, "Please simplify my financial affairs as much as possible")

4) Go over your specific wishes using sentences like: "My preferred retirement residence is _______", "Please sell my rental unit but not my principal residence", "I have a DNR and expect you to honour it", or "I want to receive hair cuts every 6 weeks"

5) After explaining yourself in your own words, give your POA a copy of the documents and give them time to read through it at their own pace. It is ok if there is an extended period of silence. They may need that silence to go through the document and process it. If they have questions you can answer then do so. If not, write down their questions and pass them along to your lawyer.

6) Set a time to follow-up and enter it in your calendar. I would recommend another check-in every 2-3 years to ensure that you each understand the POA and you can update each other about your feelings.

 

The point of the meeting is to make sure your POA can make the best decisions possible for you buying understanding you, and what you're asking of them, as much as possible. Done right it can help deepen your relationship as well as provide more tailored care and attention if you ever need your POA.

 

*** We would be remiss in this discussion if we didn't include a point about Advance Care Planning and it's value for a POA for Personal Care. Advance Care Planning, generally, is a document can that help inform your POA or any substitute decision makers in the case of your incapacity. The specific language varies from province to province but you can find a wealth of resources and province-specific information at www.advancecareplanning.ca/ ***

 

There are lots of hard conversations to have, hopefully we've made this one a little easier. If it still seems daunting please reach out to us and we would be happy to facilitate the discussion.

 

Cheers,

Pete Galbraith, Investment Advisor & Certified Financial Planner

613-531-2922

peter.galbraith@cibc.com