Raising kids, helping parents: Plan to avoid burnout
It sometimes feels like a balancing act—raising kids while helping aging parents. It’s tiring, often expensive and can be linked to caregiver burnout, affecting women more than men. Can you relate?
Seven in 10 Canadian women make significant financial sacrifices like putting their careers on hold to care for loved ones1. Whether it’s elderly parents with health concerns, less established siblings, or your own adult children, the caregiving responsibilities can feel endless. Also, they’re often accompanied by a unique set of financial challenges.
It’s the reality
“We know caregivers are experiencing increased stress and deterioration of their own health, and are at a higher risk for depression,” says Amy Coupal, CEO, Ontario Caregiver Organization. A 2019 Ontario survey showed that half of the caregivers are stressed around their financial responsibilities; and 42% of that sandwich generation say they’ve experienced financial hardships resulting from their caregiving responsibilities in the past 12 months.
“Planning for these financial realities and talking about their impact on your life can help you manage the added stress,” says Lana Lee Robinson, Executive Director, CIBC Wealth Strategies Group. Here are some tips to get you started.
Create a plan
Supporting others should not mean sacrificing your own financial well-being. In fact, almost one in three women say they’ve reduced or stopped saving as a direct consequence of childcare or eldercare responsibilities1. “Planning for these situations early on is key,” says Robinson. She’s seen many caregivers face financial and emotional challenges, particularly when it comes to understanding their parents’ plans. Take a moment to think about these questions:
- What have you set aside financially?
- What are your wishes for your own old age care?
- Do you want to stay in your home or move to a long-term care facility? And, how much will this cost?
Of those planning for retirement, very few are actually budgeting for long-term care. In fact, a 2016 survey reports that 74% of Canadians admit they have no financial plan to pay for long-term care if they need it2. A thoughtfully constructed plan can account for different circumstances of life such as long-term care and financial support for aging parents. We can help you build that plan in a way that will allow you to balance your caregiving priorities with your own retirement goals.
Split the financial and care responsibilities
Recruiting a spouse or other family members to help can be an important first step. Sharing the caregiving responsibilities with other family members can support your own self-care. Consider looking into community caregiver programs for help. Sometimes they have reduced rates for services, and support groups for family members where they can talk about their experiences. For example, the Ontario Caregiver Organization has a 24/7 Ontario Caregiver Helpline, peer support groups and online support.
Take time to discuss issues openly
While it may feel like the elephant in the room, having open communication with parents and siblings is key to planning. Consider letting things happen organically to break the ice and make the conversations less daunting and uncomfortable. Try talking about a friend or colleague’s situation and then turn the conversation back to your family. Ask your parents about their own experiences with their parents. What worked? What could they have done differently? This can open the door to a broader conversation.
“It’s a good idea to start small and work your way up to the potentially thornier topics,” says Robinson. “You may also have more success if you approach it as a series of conversations.”
Look for caregiver tax-relief options and government benefits
A number of tax relief and government benefits are available, from the Canada Caregiver Credit (CCC), to the disability tax credit, to other tax credits for expenses, such as medical care and home renovations. You may even qualify for the new Canada Recovery Caregiving Benefit if you have to reduce work to care for another individual due to COVID-19. You can learn more about these measures in the CIBC report, Who cares? Easing the financial burden for caregivers.
“It’s important to speak with a tax professional to understand the credits, deductions and other benefits that may be available to you,” Robinson says. This type of planning can potentially save you money in the long run when you need it most.
Doing your own planning can be difficult. It’s even more complex when it’s for three generations. That’s why it’s worthwhile to start early, think ahead, and take advantage of our team of professionals who can help you put a holistic plan together. Better planning leads to happier—and financially healthier—caregivers, benefiting the entire family and avoiding burnout. Reach out to us if you need help.
1 CIBC Poll, 2019, http://cibc.mediaroom.com/2019-02-21-7-in-10-women-make-significant-financial-sacrifices-for-the-sake-of-others-new-CIBC-study-finds
2 Leger Marketing survey, 2016, https://www.clhia.ca/%77%65%62/CLHIA_LP4W_LND_Webstation.nsf/resources/Consumer+Brochures/$file/Brochure_Guide_Long_Term_Care_ENG.pdf